I Criticize Because I Care: The Power of Grammar Shaming

Wow, it’s been a busy few weeks out there in the real world. Since my earlier post there has been a slew of major headlines I could discuss: the privacy of naked celebs in the cloud-o-sphere; ice-water-bucket controversy (even I know that you shouldn’t drop ice on your baby’s head to avoid donating money); the Jolie-Pitt union (finally, but that dress!?); the death of Google Authorship (déjà vu?); the death of Joan Rivers (the only woman more judgmental than I am on fashion trends); the death of the color white (bad Labor Day joke); and a lot of people saying some really interesting things but sounding really dumb in the process.

All of these are more or less important, especially since I am currently wearing a white T-shirt (go ahead, judge me), but I’m going to focus tonight on that last one. It really gets my goat. It grinds my gears. It grates my Gouda.

Important figures in politics, fashion, entertainment, marketing and what have you have deemed it acceptable to ignore the rules of grammar in social media, news articles, and blog posts. But when you’re a role model to the young and impressionable, it’s extremely important to lead by example. My little English-major heart is broken and disturbed by the age of “say it in 140 characters or less.” People speak in tweets not sentences, i.e., illiterate gibberish. Kids can’t focus for longer than it takes to read this blog post. If I can’t stop the world from proliferating these bad habits then the least I can do is shame my fellow marketers into avoiding them.

Caveat: Nobody is perfect. I make mistakes. You make mistakes. We all make mistakes. First step in moving on is admitting it. It’s taken me years, but I’m finally beyond step one. Unfortunately, the Internet is rife with basement-dwelling trolls that I imagine look something like this who live for the sole purpose of calling you out. There are entire blogs dedicated to embarrassing mistakes. A tiny error can turn into a PR nightmare. Does it make the little troll feel less pathetic? Maybe. Does it make you feel really embarrassed? Yeah. Do you remember the incident so it doesn’t happen again? Definitely. Ah, I knew there was a silver lining in there somewhere.

Here are some of the biggest grammar errors I see multiple times a day. There is nothing worse than finding a great article or social post you want to retweet/share and it has one of these grammar atrocities, right? That’s an instant “never mind” in my book. You may lose some free promotion because of an apostrophe catastrophe. Your brand will also suffer from a lack of quality and attention to detail in your marketing content. But remember that no one is perfect. I probably have errors in this post that a professional copy editor might point out. It’s inevitable. But as a marketer, these mistakes below are completely avoidable and borderline unforgivable. Don’t be troll fodder! That’s an icky mess no one, especially not your PR department, wants to mop up. (And if you ARE the PR department, I am so sorry. Good luck.) I’m not spending this post explaining the why behind these rules. There are plenty of websites out there that do a better job explaining than I ever could. These are just examples of the errors I see most often and an example  of the correct usage. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to visit Grammar Girl and Merriam-Webster for grammar rules and spelling, respectively.

1. Their vs. They’re vs. There

Their I love their product!
They’re They’re my favorite brand.
There You can buy the product there.

2. It’s vs. Its

It’s It’s my favorite brand.
Its Its store is my favorite.

3. Your vs. You’re (There is also “yore,” but if you get that confused, there might be no hope.)

Your Your product is the best!
You’re You’re my favorite brand.

4. Affect vs. Effect (I have to often check myself on this one; it’s a tough one.)

Affect (verb) The marketing copy they write affects me in a good way.
Effect (noun) The effects of their marketing copy are amazing.

5. ’90s vs. 1990’s (My biggest pet peeve.)

’90s (not possessive) Their product looks like it’s from the ’90s.
1990’s (possessive) The 1990’s products were awesome.

6. Lose vs. Loose (Embarrassed I even have to explain this one.)

Lose Don’t lose your favorite shoes!
Loose The laces on these shoes are too loose.

7. A lot vs. Alot (There is also allot, as in, an allotment of something.)

A lot I love their product a lot.
Alot Alot isn’t a word.

8. Well vs. Good (@EAMillar shared this gem as a reminder.)

Well My company is doing well.
Good This is a good product.

A couple more common grammar mistakes that you should study up on: i.e. vs e.g, than vs. then, “quote marks” usage, hyphens, who/whom, verb/subject agreement, and comma usage.  If you’re not sure, don’t assume. It’ll make an ass out of you (and not me, because I’ll be over here using proper grammar and laughing at you).

This post is paired with a big fat helping of spaghetti squash, chicken apple sausage, and mushroom marinara sauce. But I started writing this a week ago. I think I remember it being delicious? #slacker

Grammar Rules

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2 comments

  1. #9. Proof your copy for incorrect usage. As in this quote from a fun-to-read blog: “We all make mistakes. First step in moving on is admitting it. It’s taken me years, but I’m finally passed step one.” But I forgive you, that mistake is in the past. 🙂

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